Before I changed jobs a few months ago, I used to do a lot of presenting on front of groups of people. When I first started doing it, I would take hours to prepare my presentation material, and go over how I was going to present it. After several years of this, though, I know the content inside out, and sometimes I wouldn’t prepare with the same diligence. I could still pull off a fairly convincing performance, but the moment I stood up in front of an audience, I knew when I hadn’t properly prepared.
Over the last year, I’ve been studying as well as working, which has been hard to balance. Most of my exams have been fine – but again, on those occasions where I knew I could have done more, I could have stayed in a few more nights and applied myself, I know as soon as I read through the exam paper that I’m not as prepared as I could be*.
I don’t want to feel like that next weekend.
The fear of feeling like that has kept me training. It’s forced me out of bed at 6.30am, sometimes earlier, to run around or jump into a very cold pond, to get my trainers on after a hard cycle home. I don’t want to stand in front of the dock, wetsuit and goggles on, thinking, ‘shit, I should have done more’.
At this stage, I have some confidence that that won’t happen. But to be as sure as possible, I did a walk-through last weekend with a friend who is doing the Sprint distance, which went well. This morning was the big one – a proper run-through, with race-style transition and everything.
I really surprised myself. Having set out a target time of 1 hour 10 (15min swim, 25min bike, 20min run, 2 x 5min transition), I came in at a startling 1hr 1min 15! I couldn’t believe it!
Best of all, though, I know I can do it. I know the run is going to hurt, and that my arms post-swim are going to hurt on the bike, but I know I’ll be able to do it.
Second-best of all – this was waiting for me when I got back:
Thank you darling ❤